Well, here we go again.
I can’t stand the constant bouncing, up and down the scale. I feel like a yo-yo.
I’m flustered not because my trend with weight is generally down — it is and I’m grateful for that — but because the Herculean effort required to stay on this diet makes things like bouncing up half a pound for a day a major forehead slap. I’m barely able to satisfy my hunger on the amount of food I’m eating. I’ve not been full for God-only-knows how long. And yes, I’m losing weight, but I’m also staring down the barrel of eating this way — like a bird, pecking at bits of food on a largely empty plate — for the rest of my life.
I’d love to find something that works, wouldn’t cause me to have mental performance/memory issues, wouldn’t cause depression so harsh I lose three months of my life and mood swing like a chimp on a tire in a zoo, and would allow me to satisfy my hunger.
I know when I did Atkins the first time I did it wrong. I know it’s a ketogenic diet. It requires moderation of protein and increases in fat to make up the difference while minimizing carbohydrate intake. I know that. Now. When I did it originally, however, I didn’t know all that. I ate my fill of meat and cheese, eggs and sausage, anything low-carb. I have no recollection of a span of months in that time, and I know the gluconeogenesis probably had to kick in and stop weight loss, but for all that’s Holy, it did work. I lost 35lbs, and lost it faster than I’ve lost the 20+ this time around. I would LOVE an explanation for that beyond “Well, it was your ‘Golden Time’…”, because frankly, that sounds an awful lot like “No one knows really, but here, try this out and see if it placates you…”
I know my wife’s even more frustrated. She can’t get the losing to be consistent five days in a row, no matter how hard she tries, no matter how much she forces herself to restrain to 1,000 calories a day, no matter how much she tries to ignore the hunger. If she tries to use fat to slake the gnawing, she gains weight. Not holds steady — gains. If she eats protein until she’s not hungry, the angry red blotches on her face flare hard and fast, and she has to treat them for weeks on end to make them go away. There’s no winning.
So this morning I almost went ballistic when I saw I’d hopped up another half-pound. No, it’s not much, I know that. Yes, I will likely be back where I was tomorrow. But the fact is, I lose a day of decreasing weight every time this happens. And it happens more than I can explain, more than I can account for, and more than I care for. It happens fairly consistently, and it’s starting to peeve me.
Well. Bitterness and ranting will not do a thing for my weight loss. But it sure makes me feel better.